


Cluedo.

by deer_stalker



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-03
Updated: 2012-06-03
Packaged: 2017-11-06 18:49:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/421999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deer_stalker/pseuds/deer_stalker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cluedo at 221B. What could go wrong?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cluedo.

7.00 Sherlock has the genius idea to play Cluedo. John reluctantly agrees.

 

7.10 Sherlock fails to grasp the concepts of Cluedo.

 

7.14 Sherlock still fails to grasp the concept of Cluedo, _a child's game, Sherlock!_ as John puts it.

 

7.19

"Where is the logic? How can I possibly deduce the motives of plastic figurines?"

 

7.23

Everybody rushes for the best characters. John claims Reverend Green, Sherlock has Colonel Mustard, and Mycroft sneers when he picks up Professor Plum. Greg has been left with Miss Scarlett.

 

7.27

Greg sulks with Miss Scarlett. John and Sherlock giggle at each other. Mycroft delivers a swift kick to their shins. 

 

7.34

Sherlock asks if he can take all of the characters in for individual interrogation. John explains that's not how the game works. Sherlock complains.

 

7.35

John uses the reflection in the fridge to try and see Greg's cards. He manages to work out that it was the rope.

 

7.37

Sherlock catches John 'cheating' and tries to mimic him. 

 

7.37 

Sherlock falls off his chair while craning his neck to try and see Mycroft's cards. 

 

7.37

Sherlock and John have had points deducted for cheating.

 

7.38

John kicks Sherlock under the table for getting his points taken off him, but is forced to ' _rub it better_ ' when Sherlock starts to pout.

 

7.39

John goes positively bright red when Greg and Mycroft look up to find John rubbing an unknown limb under the table.

 

7.45

Sherlock asks if all of the characters could cooperate in recreating the crime scene in order to deduce who the suspect is, which weapon was used, and when it took place. John explains that's not how the game works.

 

7.49

Sherlock asks for a list off all the suspects relatives. John explains that's not how the game works. 

 

7.53 

Mycroft briefly believes he has acquired X-ray vision after discovering he can see through John's sheet of paper, figuring out that it was the rope in the dining room. 

 

7.53 (and a half)

Mycroft finds out it was only because of the lamp behind John that he could see through his paper.

 

7.54 

Mycroft is downheartened.

 

7.57

Greg only manages to roll numbers below a three, ergo never actually managing to reach any of the rooms. He sulks.

 

7.58

Greg loses one of the dice and everyone yells at him. He sulks.

 

8.01

Sherlock finds the dice along with a dead rat, some spores he dropped a few weeks, and a mouldy piece of pizza that started moving when he touched it. 

 

8.01 

Sherlock yelps when the pizza moves, crawling backwards causing John to fall and land on top of him. 

 

8.02 

Sherlock and John scamper about on the floor with the dice and moving-pizza while Mycroft doubles over in laughter and Greg videos it.

 

8.05

Sherlock and John return to the table. Neither are amused. 

 

8.11

John digs out the remaining figurines and decides to chat up Mrs. Peacock. 

 

8.12 

Sherlock watches Mrs. Peacock and Reverend Green getting it on and goes to investigate. He reminds Mrs. Peacock that she is a married woman. 

 

8.14

Mycroft gets impatient when waiting for his turn. He decides to ask Mrs. White to dance with him. 

 

8.14

Greg gets jealous. He sulks.

 

8.16

John and Sherlock confirm that Mrs. White bears and uncanny resemblance to Mrs. Hudson. 

 

8.17

Sherlock immitates Mrs. Hudson, with Mrs. White running around the board screaming 'Not your housekeeper!'.

 

8.17

John nearly pisses himself laughing. Greg continues to down John's christmas whisky, developing 'Not your housekeeper' into a nursey-rhyme-esque song.

 

8.17 

Mycroft and Greg have now started round three of, 'Not your housekeeper'.

 

8.19

The game has now turned into a soap-opera; Mrs. Peacock and Reverend Green are having and affair on both of their partners, with Mrs. Peacock married to Professor Plum, and Reverend Green engaged to Miss Scarlet, who is still wandering around the corridors of the Cluedo board aimlessly, not yet having managed to roll higher than a three.

 

8.20

Mrs. Hudson finally decided to venture upstairs to see what all the noise was about. She finds Mycroft and Greg singing their sixteenth round of, 'Not your housekeeper' and Colonel Mustard knocking over Miss Scarlet out of sheer boredom.

 

8.20 

Mrs. Hudson puts a tea-towel on her head and joins in the now twenty first round of, 'Not your housekeeper'. 

 

8.21

Mrs. Hudson has to be helped downstairs for her daily soother.

 

8.24 

John manages to reveal all of the correct cards, with the truth being that it was in fact Colonel Mustard in the Dining Room with the rope. Everybody turns to Sherlock with mockingly aghast ' _how could you'_ expressions. His mouth falls open, eyes wide, looking for an answer, other than, "This cannot be right! I demand to know.. Wrong!" as if he had been framed as being an _actual murderer._

 

8.26

Sherlock sulks after refuses to accept he was the murderer without ever knowing he was the murderer.

 

8.26

Greg puts his handcuffs on the table after realising he is absolutely plastered and more likely to do more damage with them remaining in his pocket.

 

8.26 (and a half)

Greg is deemed the master of bad-timing. 

 

8.26 (and three quarters)

Sherlock glares at Greg. _If looks could kill,_ ricochets around his mind, alongside banging Mycroft and dohnuts. 

 

8.27

Sherlock throws Colonel Mustard in a fit of sheer anger.

 

8.28

John suggests they play Monopoly. Sherlock suggests they burn Cluedo in the depths of Hell, and then feed it to Anderson at the same times as Greg firing him. 

 

8.29 

Sherlock stabs the Cluedo to the wall above the fireplace, knocking over the milk that has somehow ended up there. Greg and Mycroft have re-started 'Not your housekeeper' and John now ponders whether the detective is secretly a three year old.

 

 

 

 

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End file.
